Monday, May 17, 2010

An Ode to Bacon

I just want to start off by apologizing for my last post. Who was I kidding? Did I make it to the gym this weekend? Yes. For 5 minutes of spin that intensified my hangover to such a point I had to leave the facility. From now on I'll leave the healthy preaching to my sister, and the gluttony to me. To redeem myself I thought an ode to my favorite fat would be in order. I think that you will find this to be a little more "me." Enjoy~

An Ode to Bacon

Oooooh bacon. My only weakness. Why do you have to be so tender? So juicy? So tantalizingly fatty? Why must you come from the gut of a pig?

I spent many years without bacon in my life. Many joyful years of low cholesterol, low trans fatty happiness. A time when Fakin Bacon used to cut it. That was before real bacon entered my life like a whirling tornado of grease and landed me straight into bacon heaven.

I'm not addicted. I don't actually buy the stuff. I sniff it out. I go to restaurants with the thickest maple bacon and suggest someone order it. "Oh look, you get a side breakfast meat. I hear they put horrible things in sausages, you should probably go with the bacon." Usually I can convince them. Poor suckers. They order a whole plate of those crackling tender strips, not too crispy with lots of fat. Just the way I like it. Then when they aren't watching, I sneak a bite. Or a couple bites. Sometime I take the whole piece to the bathroom and devour it. Usually I just pop it in my Gucci bag and eat it hours later in the comfort of my closet. Did I mention I don't eat red meat? That's what bacon does to me.

What's your weakness?


  1. I ain't gonna lie but as a vegan i dfinitely do miss that about bacon ;P

  2. Some fine folks only eat bacon say "when it's hot off the griddle in Colorado"... but then again that might just be a front.. hmmm..

  3. Oh Spoondles, it has been way too long.....

    Stuffing bacon into Gucci bags and going drunk to spin class, I got nothing but respect for this post.

    I'm glad we agree that, with out gluttony we would perish.......

    Keep writing
    Your Friend johnny Apple Seed

  4. Hilarious!

    Can't wait to see your photos from phototasting!

    Keep up the good work!




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